我家那个CS儿子,说聪明也不聪明,就是很会综合归纳利益最大化,然后给你个没气死你算你走运的结论。
修电脑就不说了,现在我直接把人抓到电脑前面,“为什么弄不出来?”然后我就去看电视,多一句话都不说,免得心梗。
比如某天吧,我看他的耳机不错,借来用一下,真心不错。问他哪儿买的多少钱?人家说是阿麻怂买的,$19.99。“那你帮我买一个,刷我的卡。”其实他的卡也是刷我的钱。
“麻麻,你去一元店买就好了,一个一块钱,你可以买18个,还剩下九十一分钱。”
“为毛我只能用一元店的?”
“因为你老丢啊,天天听你在找耳机。你买18个,全家哪儿哪儿都是你的耳机。”
又比如上大学之前,他的电脑不满足学校要求,需要买新电脑。他爹说:随便买!多少钱都可以!
我在木凳子上抱着狗发呆。
![](data:image/jpeg;base64,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)
哪有这样的?啥叫随便买?啥叫多少钱都可以!!!儿子也老实,表示要给一个上限。
“1500,税另外,就这样,不要说了。”我赶紧开口,不然爷儿俩能花一万五。
几分钟之后,他订好新电脑,花费$1499。还得意洋洋的:“我给你省了一块钱。”儿砸,我看你是早就订好了放在那里等我们付钱吧!
又比如经常是这样的对话,“麻麻,我们几点出门?”呃,大概九点吧。
“哦,九点离开?还是九点准备离开?”有什么不一样吗?
“有啊,你每次说九点出门,就要出门进门出门进门很多次,九点半才能真的出门。”
瞪眼已经不够使用。
![](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTiuSCcMfAO8RDTppwfB_9I3gDNWh21_ZHpb6L5Hdo3ImlGdYYG)
他上大学之后,我开始参加舞蹈队。某天我有个演出,正好他在家,我问他要不要去玩玩,“你从来没看过我跳舞对吧?要不要欣赏一下?”
人家表示学校还有点功课要做。好吧,那就算了嘛,对吧,我也不期待啥。他爹说一起去看看,白痴就开始说了,“妹妹跳舞我都不想看,麻麻的更没什么好看了。“
我恨恨看着白痴的爹,没想人家青出于蓝,“你儿子就是老实。“
又是现在,他人在某地腐败,周末出去街拍,拍了张路边摊卖卡通毛线帽的照片。我说那个好可爱,给我买一顶。“应该不会很贵吧?“
好的好的,不过……“麻麻,你这样不好吧,你已经五十了。“给我古文!
![](data:image/jpeg;base64,/9j/4AAQSkZJRgABAQAAAQABAAD/2wCEAAkGBxIQEBUPExISFhUXFxUXFRUYEBUXFhMZFxUXFhYVFxcYHSggGR0lGxcVITIhJSkrLi4uFyEzODMsNygtLisBCgoKDQ0NDg0NDjcZFRktKy0rKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrKysrK//AABEIANUA7AMBIgACEQEDEQH/xAAcAAEAAAcBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAQIDBAUGBwj/xABNEAACAgIAAwUFAwUKCgsAAAABAgADBBEFEiEGEzFBUQcUImFxMoGRFSNSobEzQkNTVGKCkrLBCDRyg5OUorPR8RYXRGNzdbTC0tPw/8QAFQEBAQAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH/xAAUEQEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA/9oADAMBAAIRAxEAPwDuMREBERARuJTeBNzRzSnG4FQNI80pRAq7jcxXGON4+HWbci5K19WYDfyA8SfpOZcd9ueOjFMXHe7Xg7t3an5hdFj+qB2Lcc0845/tk4tafzaU1L6CvmP4sZh7vaDxpzv3x1+QCD/2wPUpaOeeV/8Ap1xkf9vs/wBn/wCMvsT2qcZq8bUs+T1Kf2agemucRzzh3Cvbs4YLlYY15tW5BHz5GHX8Z0/sv2xwuIrvHuUt51t0sX+j5/UQNi54DSnIgwKm5GQEjAREQEREBERAREQEREBERASm8qSSyBJESDMANk6A8T5CAZgOpnJ+3/tdWhmxMALbb1DXb3XWfRR+/I/Ca17U/aPZl2Pw/DbloG1ttHjcfNQfJP2znlNIUaH3mBNm2W5NhvyLXssPiWbf3fIfIQqgdAAPukZCBGAZCIEYEhECZuviAR6GW4xyrCytijA7BB0QfkR4StEDp3YH2vvWyYnEeq/ZGR15h6d4PMfzhO20Wq6h1YMpG1IOwQfAgzyDbUGGj/ym5+y/t7Zwy4Yt7FsVzrr17knwdf5vqIHpRZGUaHDAEEEEbB8iD4ESqIEYiICIiAiIgIiICIiAiIgJJZJ5LZ4QKZnKfbl2ybGpHDqTq29SbGB6pWdjQ+bdR9J1LIuCIzsdKoLE/JRs/qnk3j/F24hmX5z/AL5iUHkFH2V+4ftgWNKBfgHjoEyrKWIPh5vNjsyrAREEwESm16j98PxkjZqDz/VArxKHvtfqfwj3yv1P4QK3ON8vnIyzvvU6KnqPD5/KXitsA+sCMpZNXOuvPy/4SpIwO2ewftUcnGOBYfzmOByerVE6H9U9PpqdYnlX2c8V9x4xRbvSWE1P9LPh/tcs9UKYE0REBERAREQEREBERAREQEgw6SMGBo3te4v7rwjIIOmsApX1/OdG1/R5vwnmpl5KdfL9s7D/AIRecdYeKD9pnsI+mlH7TOQ5y/AfugVa+ij6D9klpZ7X7umuy1/0URmJ+5QTKCDmNZs/c+ZQwB0eXY318um5607NcAxMOlUxakRSAdgbZtjxLeJgeeuE+zPi+X17juF9bTyHX+T1M3ThfsEXQOTmOT5ipAB9Ntv9k7FfcydQu5RpzufygaXg+xzhNOi1dlmvOy49fuXQmbw+xXCkHKmHjHXrWGP65fZ1hLBevXymKz+2eBgqwdyeU6sKozhD6Mw6AwMkvY7h38ixf9Cn/CTv2SwCNHDxj/mU/wCEsOz/AG5ws48uPbzHzXkYEfWbQpgad2m7CcPsxLlTDx1fu3KMtShlYKSCCPnPM+Efg15joZ7JddjU8eXJyZF6DwW2wD7nIgRgREC1znK8jjoVYEH011E9g8GyO9x6rf060b+soP8AfPH3EfsfeJ6x7DMTw3D3/JqP92sDOxEQEREBERAREQEREBERAREQPPf+EC5PFMdfSgfrsc/3Tn83/wBv/wAHFaXPgccfqd5znCs5gT84Ec0/mzPWfZWznwcZ/Wmo/wCwJ5NzPsEeZ0APU7nrXszjmvDx6yNFaawR6EINwMBkcAzMnLstuyraqV13FVLBQT5tYSCT9JkeyuFkrXzZfIbQzja/ZddnkcjybWtzYCJKTqBTtxVbr59evpsamHo7I4y4jYJDNSxJcMdlyx5iWbxPWZEcWo733fvqu91vu+defXry73qX0DH8I4Jj4iCuilK1A18Kjf3nzmQERATx7k/41k/+NZ/baewTOMca9hzPa9uPmcvO7Nyum9cxJ1tfHxgck1I6m0dsfZtmcMxWy7cillVlXlXm5jzHQI2P/wBqbJ2R9j1eXiUZd2XaO9RbDWqgaDdeUsflA5dw/EfNsrxaxt7HCgAb0N9WPyA2T9J694bjCqqukeCIiD6KoE1vgPYTDwsx82pSHZFRV6clQCqp5AB4nlGyZtKwK0SAkYCIiAiIgIiICIiAiIgIiIGkdu/Z7RxW+i613U1dCF1qxObmKk+Xn1+c0LM9h9xusNOXXXSzEopRiyg+R0fKdxcSQQPOvCOwKrx+vh5uNyUhbrm5dDa/F3fn4/D+Jno5ROMdmcs0drcuqzQ74MFJ8eiqygfUA/hO0LATEcc4GmU9Ts9iGpuZSlhXfyPqJmJrPavIyiUoxgAX3zWn7NX84jz+kCWnsrh9/wB+QGyCd97zfH6a+mpsfMAJzO3shYX7y7i2U1ngO7RFUH5DRmd7N05dIau/IF9e/wA2SurFH88+ZgbZXZzGV5bYg85cwGolHMy66UNljqijqWZgAPvM5H219pdmY/5M4QGtss2rXKPAefdk/wBs9IFn7UeMNxjPp4HifGq2bvcdRsfa6+iKTv5mdhwMVaakpToqKqL9FAAmo+zXsCnC6u8s0+VYPzr72F31KIT5ep85u0BAEiqyoBACRiICIiAiIgIiICIiAiIgIiIEr+EpyqRJQkDkvtf7N5CZNPG8RS1lHL3qjqdISVfQ6kaJU/IzN9kfazgZqqttgx7j0KOdKT/NfwP08Zv5SaH2m9knDs1mt5HpsbqWqbQJ9ShHLuFb3VarDakEeoII/VKeRjhvrONWexrNo/xTijqPJSbEP4o2v1SpX7M+NkaPGHH+duP98I6uvDax1YDfqfKWmZxnBxtmzJx69ePNagI+7c5o3siyQjvk8WvZVVmYKX8ANn7bETUezHBsBOGtn3otrjvGAa3roMVRSgPiSP1wrqPGPbDwzHBFbve3kKkOj8uZtCaXxf2vcRupsuxcWuqpHVGd/jcM/wBkBeg5vuPjNcz6a8SnHxjWgdEOXknlG+ZtmmrZ66G16fKZTgeEz24WG675VbOyR62WbNQb00OXpAvMjshkcQqFufm3m5wCEGu6qJ6hSn4b0JN7C1OLxTKwLAvecnjrr8DddH0IIM3JiT1PnNY7H6TtXb/PoJ+/u0J/ZA7bIBZNEIREQEREBERAREQERECMREBERAREQERECEREBERAktrV1KsAQQQQfAg+IM4Df2awiytXSoN/E3rpIJ/N0Y/7pyj05kYffO2dqeJDFwsjIP8AB1O33hTrX36nFeMK2ImFWT8ePw/IyXP/AHmRv4vrtjCsHmN7/mN6ZWUEHh+4UHr9OimbN2kw8kcSx/cGAyL0dWViDWUqGxsHwAA19ZgOwGGWzaR/EY3Mf8u3+/4p0rsXgd/xTJzD1THRcao+XOQHu1662B+MDWszO4ziBBkYFDF37tCl4HeOQW0ACfIE/dMTwg5eLxvH4nmVpUl1hpIDhu7DV8ignfTrrqZtXarjAv7Q04gO1xqLGI9LbE3v6hCPxMq8d4SmZjvjOdBh8LfoMOqn8f1QOqgyM5r7Ku1ltjNwnNOsqgaUn+GrA6NvzIGvqNH1nSoQiIgIiICIiAiIgIiIEYiICIiAiIgIiIEIiICDExHavjIwcO/LK83dIWC+p8APxIga77Ss5bDi8LDDmyr6w46fuNZ57CfQHl1OV+1DtFTbxDIqq+NWppxVdfsgraHcA+Y8unpMTYuVmseJZmPlOLetdyK3KijY5VCdQo9ZSvz8Jau6OuUfwfIwYH16gEH74VtPZO0Yy8RzW6CvkX+pWCo+9tCdO7DYoweEVvcdN3b5FxP6Vm7HJ/HU4d2awKsjOxMUM9dN795ar37DivbAMN+J5fr1nS/a12upNJ4TjWKbbdLaVYapqGiwJ8NkdNfOBzfhnGw+f+WLWA73JcP1+zU68i7Hy+Hr8puud23wKtgWm5h4LVWzb/pa5ZoacLwk8e7Pzaze/qN6ldOJYtY0tlSgfogf3QJ+IdpshuJYuetDUKjoiE6LOrHTBz8wT08p6bTwnlvF5+KZVOHiqzfnA7OegAUjmbr5AT1HWNAD0AhE0REBERAREQEREBERAjERARIQTAjEhuDAjESG4CIiAmK7U8I99w78TfL3tbIG9CfA/jqZXcQOV9j+19fCqF4XxNjRdTtFYoxrtr3tGV1BHgdfdLHttxvhOfl8ORLce1PeNXKF1tWQgcx0Njm1OsZfD6bhqytHHoyBv2zE8U7HYORS+O2NUFcaJStVYa6ghgNggwrB5Xso4TY/eDHZD00K7bEUa8wAdCWZ9jPCSd8l/wDrDf8AOTV9j+L4xAxeLc1S9FryKQ/QeALDrKpwu0bHXvPD1HqKGJ/AwI4vsj4RX192Z/8ALvsP6gwEvrexvBsZe8fEw6wP31gH7XMxz9luN29LOMKi+YpxlU/1jK2H7LMMkPlPflv5tdcxU/0AdQNJ7W5XDMexczg9yLnK6qKaFZkyFJAdSoBXw9PT1naOE5D2UV2WIa3ZFLodbRiNlTr0MteF9ncPF13GNTWR0BWsA/j4zKAQiMREBERAREQEREBERAjES1v4jUl1eOzastFjVryseYV8vOdgaGuZfHXjAuomO4lxzHxraabrVR72KUqd/Gw106DQ6so2ddWA8SJkYCJiqu0WM5RVs2Xusx00j/FbUHNijp4AVv8AF9np4zKwEREBETG8V47jYr1V3WqjXOEqUgksxIHkOg2yjmOhtgN9RAyURMYe0WH33u3veN33Nyd17xX3nN+jyc3Nv5agZOJgb+2fDa3at87EVlJVlORWCpB0QQT0IMyN/FaUxjmFwaRWbe8UFwawvNzryglhrr0gXsSSm1XUOpBVgCpHgQRsEfdLbhHE6suhMmluauwcyNyldjet6YAjw84F5ERAREs/ynV7x7pzfnu773k5T0r5uTmJ1obboATs6OvAwLyImGv7W8PRmR8/CVlJVlbLpDKQdFSC2wQemoGZiYSvtfw5iFHEMIkkAAZlJJJ6AAc3UzNM2hs+ECMTGXcfx0wxxAufdyiWB+R+qPrlbk1zdeYdNb6zJwESllZCVI1tjKiKCzMxAVQBskk+A1Lbg/FqcyoX0WB0JI3oggg6KsrAFWB8iAYF9ERATn3EsrN/KhRKeW23VeNYz1stOJS9b5VxA5iDazImiB4V+hnQZz/LpRs++1E4xfY3JWyIfd8dBUWKotzGvaczMTyuwPMehgTvwXMs75srGTIsuVV5kyxWuOgIdK6NrzKVfTd54llB8lAus/iXEMPh7LYq35RLV0WINKwFZfvsjoFr5QGJ0dMVGvtATWsKvBbIzjk8PyMlxm3gWJhW3KF0ml516DXXp85sfYs77O0k/wAkb+w0DE8K4DQWwkyOlS4oGHWLbA919lff5eQzV6KnQA2T1539RKvZTEqybsDJqJqPu5yrqfecly/eg1VAd4SrID3hPXYITpo9bzCaqgY+fl201VJh00Yxe0AF7UFlx69ASK6wB46RvWUOyHC7TicGy6l+KukV3Anl5se6rZ8fHViUsB9YGcyO3vDq3atr2DIzIw93vOmUlWGwmj1B6iU/+sPhv8ob/Vsj/wCubTEDX37Sd/j99gVNksz92v8ABIja2XtNumCDpsqGJ3oCYTI4aMcVnOVMzIz7RiXPrkSmp0ttFNK6JFalPUMxPMTsADe5qvbn914b/wCYVf8Ap8mBU4VVnYdq4zA5WKTqu82L7xQPJbw2u9UfxgPN6g+M1Cyu3vmbu8TuvyvX+c5m96373X0A5Na30+14Tqs5Z+RLWymuHDqSRxNW975j7wEGShJCd1vk5djm59a2flAxuFxY1rfSMuystk54SocGtv5j7xcWC3KNP06nX2d9fCbbRVj08AxmzmuqrpxaDYFuuoffdBO7PdsrEknXIfEkTBYRtycZqsWvIGVRl519N3c8tQL33goLLRyMXqsYDQYAlS3hM1m4uLkcFst5L27mnLZfeS/fV3d3atrWBjrnDF/DoN/Doaga1wSw8vD663zGouqzbVpxc13NarZQtFXObB+51/CV3oMWAkns4vdPyQinNVbFvFge4nHsC0WMorTnIGiAfAeE27hfZCq1MPLR3pIx/j7k92bWtqoBdmHnqlR85jPZl2bV8Phmd3926ksYVs/NX+cR6zyg/Y1vfSB0iJhuH8aezOycJqCgpSl0s7xWFy2842VA3WQ1bjRJJ1vp0mZgat7T7WThGUylgwRdFWKkfnF8CPCYYcFqDF/yJn8xABb3/H5iBvQJ982QNn8ZlvasdcGyyf0B/vFmG/KGN/F9ov8AR8SgXns/BXN4jX3V1KqcTlptuFjJupiSCtjjqevRpcZ3HeHrfbT7lda9b8trVcMe5Q7KH0XRCN6YH75Zezq1GzuJFBkgbxOmSLRcPzLfaFvx69N+UjgdocfAzeIV5JtrNmQllZ92vdXQ41K8ysiEH4lYfdAxva3Nx8nFNGNw7LW1rcYq35Jur0FyanclzWOX4VaZr2p8YenE93rD815VHdendUtbXVa/MenMTaiAeO33+9Muz7Q+Hfx1v3YeVv8A3UxfanItt4Clt4Isd8J2BUKy82ZSyqy+TBSAR6gwMP7TOHmmhsarLyuQVNa9PNWakpR0rrrX4Nr8bpy7J6VNNr7FVuVd3ysq22prKLarXr5RYjD4wFQEcy8rjr9mwTWu3/A8qnBzco5FLG0bv5qGLci2gU01NzgVoikeIO2Ln9902vg/AcmrKOXZfSzWArkLXjtWloVV7l+U2NqxTzgtvqrAa+EGBiM/hvEcqxbcrHotpB5kwhlciIVIKPkOUPftvelACLyg/EdETX8M4icg5eNRRi2t1uByu9pyuUaVbaxWCrelq9R4HmHQYLtVi8LPEFxjUaxU4uy3THyHa4sOZMdO7ViwYsHcjyAAOydScSXhtd1dy8OtbD0VyGbh+TV3GyOTID2KvMo8GUeAPN5EEOpcPtsepWtr7uwj46w4cIfMBwAG+suJJTWFUKo0oAAHoANASeAiIgNSBUa15SMQJSg1rQ15DXSTREBERASVlB1sA6Ox08D6iTRAREQEgwBGj1HmPWRiBADXQQqgDQAA9AOkjEChRiVozuqKrWENYwHVyFCgsfPSgD7pXiIEroCNEAj0I2JNEQJQgBJ0NnxOup14bk0RASV0DDRAI9CNyaIEroCNEAj0I2JNEQEGIgIiICIiAiIgIiICIiAiIgIiICIiAiIgIiICIiAiIgIiICIiAiIgIiIH/9k=)
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