如果有一天当上GRANDMA

这几天看了好多小BABY的视频,开始憧憬自己做GRANDMA的一天,这一天也许是10年之后,但咱从现在开始准备。

如果上帝给我这样的福气,我是一定要好好珍惜的。

一切财物的工作的压力都已经没有了,唯一有的压力可能是我的身体健康状况,所以一定要保持身体健康,才可能在机会面前发挥余热。

另外一个就是和闺女,女婿的观念协调问题。

前些天谈到这个问题,我的小闺女说,还是会按照妈妈培养她的方式培养她自己的孩子们,但稍微做一点调整。我的孩子对我的认可,给我打高分,可我自己心里给自己打了个低分。我是一个非常认真的妈妈,从孩子一出生我就非常认真照着书养,但因为赚钱压力,和各种局限,我没有达到我自己的期许,虽然后来我不停地调整。

比如,如果孩子哭了,当时的书上面说,不要急着哄孩子,我当时照搬了,现在后悔到不行,如果再来一次,我一定要去哄孩子,和孩子交流,细查孩子的感受。

我当时没有这么做还有一个原因是不希望孩子长成一个DRAMA QUEEN,或者太在乎自己感受的一个FLAKY女人,一点点小事情感觉不好就要搞事情的女人是我非常不喜欢的,我希望她的人生有一点追求,TOUGH一点。

现在我也不知道自己对不对。

再比如,我当年那么PUSH她的钢琴,CELLO,不知道有什么用,后来她10岁开始我PUSH体育,GYM,舞蹈,不知道有没有什么用。

我有意识的做了一件事情,从她12-13岁开始,我开始PUSH她注重自己的容颜,打扮,她曾经抱怨,我妈妈就是那种人,如果我出门没有照镜子,她都会叫我回去照一下再出门。

感谢上帝赐福,我的孩子们外表都挑了优点来继承,我也夸奖她们的外表,说她们比妈妈漂亮很多。这一点和我自己的母亲不同,我的母亲是用尽一切办法不希望我们意识到自己的美,她认为女孩子一旦认识到自己美,就开始歪着来了。

我妈妈用心良苦,在她的影响下面,我倒是有人生的追求,也能达成一点点事情,不会过度打扮自己,也不会穿奇装异服,给人清纯朴素的印象。

这一点,当年北京的EX尤其喜欢,他说,你是我见过的照镜子最少的女孩子,然后他不停地给我买衣服,打扮我,夸奖我。

所以我妈妈的方法还是有好处的。

是让女孩子养成特别注重外表的意识,还是不过分注重外表,这两个养育女孩子的办法,哪一个更好呢。

elfie 发表评论于
I really don't care. My daughter is her own person and she's excellent in many ways. But I have two sons after her so there's no way I can put so much attention on her as you did. I make sure she sticks to violin, she does very well on that on my standard, which is at 13 years old she still loves playing violin and she's the first violin in our youth orchestra. She's a gamer but also good at math, that's what I'd like to see. AMC level player? maybe not. But pretty close.
My two sons did split much of my attention from her, but I never strived to be the perfect parent, perfect mother and role model. I never care whether she dresses well. She dresses like any other girls in middle schools.
And I don't really care about becoming a grandma. It's really a long way to go and I may not be able to live till that day. My older son said he'd like to have dogs instead of children. Fine. It's not something that I can change or have influence on. To each his own.
Sometimes I feel tired, and I don't want to chase the boys anymore like I did with my daughter, on music, on math. Being a mom of three is a hard job. There are no fantasies left, no unreasonable expectations. They are what they are. What we can do to influence children is actually very small. Over 90% of their personal traits are determined by genes. The rest is by circumstances. How much is left for parents? less than 5%
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