I really don't care. My daughter is her own person and she's excellent in many ways. But I have two sons after her so there's no way I can put so much attention on her as you did. I make sure she sticks to violin, she does very well on that on my standard, which is at 13 years old she still loves playing violin and she's the first violin in our youth orchestra. She's a gamer but also good at math, that's what I'd like to see. AMC level player? maybe not. But pretty close.
My two sons did split much of my attention from her, but I never strived to be the perfect parent, perfect mother and role model. I never care whether she dresses well. She dresses like any other girls in middle schools.
And I don't really care about becoming a grandma. It's really a long way to go and I may not be able to live till that day. My older son said he'd like to have dogs instead of children. Fine. It's not something that I can change or have influence on. To each his own.
Sometimes I feel tired, and I don't want to chase the boys anymore like I did with my daughter, on music, on math. Being a mom of three is a hard job. There are no fantasies left, no unreasonable expectations. They are what they are. What we can do to influence children is actually very small. Over 90% of their personal traits are determined by genes. The rest is by circumstances. How much is left for parents? less than 5%